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Jaded Traveler Blues – Cairo, Egypt

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Author’s Note: These musings are from 1995, at the end of an epic overland trip across Asia and Africa; broke and confused. But mostly, it’s about how awful hostel dorms can be for a light sleeper. Please understand: this is NOT a reflection on Cairo, which I love, and enjoyed


Fuck this!

Done nothing the last two days.

Feeling tired. Lousy!

Am sleeping in a hostel dorm with 8 other travelers in Central Cairo. Bloody hopeless!

Would’ve felt way-better after no sleep amid a night of excessive sex and booze

Got woken at 10 P.M.

At 2.

At 5 by – “ALLAHU AKBAR!” – sings the Islamic call to prayer.

At 6.

At 7 … as people departed.

Again at 9.

Went to the Egyptian Museum in Cairo.

Spectacular. Overwhelming. Too much.

Wandered round and yeah, nice sculptures, nice mummies, nice jewelry.

Lots of gold. Cor, was Tutankhamen a spoiled brat, or what?

Ooh, yeah, that’s wild … and that one’s neat too … and that – out the way! Tourists everywhere! More tourists – I lie – than exhibits (and most visitors seem as long brain-dead as the mummified dog.)

Often, it was I, who was the exhibit.

Look, see the half-dead-long-hair pretending to understand Ancient Egypt.

I got more attention than a Pharaoh’s preserved organs; to many Arab tourists I was more exciting than a jar of dehydrated testicles.

apartment-block-people-cairo-egypt
Apartment block residents in Cairo, Egypt.

Had wicked stomach cramps early this morning, but cleared it after three prolonged shits.

Have eaten the same food from the same restaurant tonight (cos it taste good). See what happens … ?

Two Japanese travelers talk.

One of the young women has realised her large, pink suitcase-on-wheels, ain’t too practical; she’s just lugged it up five large flights of stairs, cos the elevator don’t work.

Shit! two Euro-chicks are setting their alarms.

Fuck! I hate alarm clocks. Especially when they ain’t mine!

Well, I ain’t the only one whose tired and grumpy this morning.

Three Japanese complain about this young English woman who woke the entire dorm.

Quite a brain-fucking.

You see, after she’d dragged herself out of bed, turned the blazing-lights on, spent 40 minutes repacking her pack – which she’d spent hours on last night; she then stomped out to the bathroom, and back, and again back and forth.

And while she was out washing, her second alarm bleeped – til a Japanese babe crawled out of bed and thumped the thing.

Eventually the woman left, leaving the door wide open.

Have lay in bed all morning: Wondering what to do?

What to do in Cairo?

What to do in life?

I really don’t know what to do … Doing nothing appeals.

Actually, being a waster really appeals.

Yeah, a waster for life !!!

But who will employ me to waste my life?


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